Monday, November 28, 2011

k-k-k-killer pyramid treadmill workout

I am still sweaty from my HITT run this morning and I've showered... ya, you figure that one out- it was tough! But as always, extremely worth it. Here's what it looked like:

-2.5 minute walk to warm up
- 1 minute @ 5.5
- 1 minute @7.0
- 1 minute @ 5.5
- 1 minute @7.5
- 1 minute @ 5.5
- 1 minute @ 8.0
- 1 minute @ 5.5
- 1 minute @ 8.5
- 1 minute @ 5.5
- 1 minute @ 9.0
- 1 minute @ 5.5
- 1 minute @ 9.5
- 1 minute @ 5.5
- 1 minute @ 10.0

Then went back to the speeds from 10.0 to 9.5 etc with the 5.5 rest in between. At the end I had 1 minute left that was supposed to be at 5.5 but I decided to push myself a little further and end on the 10.0 for just one more minute. What a doozy. I then ended with my cool down walk for 2.5 minutes.

Anyways, this workout was quick (only lasted 30 minutes), difficult, and so effective. High Intensity workouts (HITT) are truly the best kind of exercise to get your heart and lungs workin extra hard, boost your metabolism, and burn fat.  I highly suggest you give this workout a try sometime- but go at your own pace. i.e. your recovery speed might just be 3.0 and your sprint speed might only get up to 5.0 but it doesn't matter. Start where you are and gradually you will see your speeds improve as your fitness levels begin to soar to new heights over time. On the way back down from 10.0 on that workout the 8.5's and 9.0's felt so much easier than before. You really can push yourself further than you think. It's all in the mind.

Anyways, enough preachin. Here are some pics from our lovely Thanksgiving! It was my first time hosting/ cooking the big meal!

my two favorite boys

Father and Son together for Holidays

making my Mm-mm good taters

Joyful Mother-in-Law, who was a big help

turkey carvin time!

All together- Our friends Cory and Chrysta, Seth and I,  Mom and Dad Trader
It was such a fun time and weekend! Now it's time to pack and get ready to leave! First to Georgia to see my beautiful Kayla and her new baby sister! (I'm soooo excited!) then it's off to North Carolina!!! Whooop, whoooop!! Big changes are ahead, ya'll ;)

Friday, November 18, 2011

I've come a long way

Being a bit vulnerable today and sharing with you a couple excerpts from an old sheet I found from 3 years ago... (and yes I know I said I wouldn't be updating...)

sorry didn't feel like fixing this one

No more than 500-1000 calories a day, little to no fruit, limited jogging due to no energy, food is disgusting... more that isn't there... "Must get down to 120 in a week", "food will only make you unhappy and fat,"" limit to one meal a day"...

I obviously used to have some serious mis-understandings (to say the least) about body image, food, exercise, and health in general.  I'm proud to say that those things I wrote now make me sick to my stomach to read. Becoming a personal trainer has saved my health.

I know I'm not the only girl in the world who has ever thought of herself in the same way. It's my personal mission to find those girls and women and teach them everything I can about living a healthy and fit lifestyle and to be happy with themselves and their bodies.

I'm sure this time 3 years ago I was trying to figure out how I can get out of eating next to nothing at Thanksgiving and worrying myself sick about gaining holiday weight.

The burden has been lifted! If you are or know anyone who is going through a situation similar to mine three years ago.. please talk to them. Email me or anyone you trust who can walk you through it.

Start living to LIVE! Healthy, strong, and confident. I promise it is possible.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I'm taking a break from the blog...

Check back in a week or so

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Cardio, much?

Hey there and happy tuesday :)

I hope everyone enjoyed their long weekend. Seth had off Friday through Monday so we had fun watching movies, hanging with friends, seeing Jerry Seinfeld live, going to church, and workin out a little too.

Yesterday Seth and I headed to the gym to complete a strength training circuit and bo oh boy...we're feelin it today!

But that didn't stop me from running 5 miles this morning with Shane, going to yoga class, then running 2 more miles with my friend... no, if anything it's nice to warm up my sore hamstrings and make 'em work a little before stretching and foam rolling my eye-balls out :)

As far as meals go, I had a refreshing strawberry-banana protein shake post for breakfast (which by the way kept me full till noon) and a egg-white/spinach/cheese sandwich for lunch:

I promise there's alot of spinach under there ;)
But of course that's not all I had. I snacked on some honey wheat pretzel sticks, mini bell peppers with hummus, and a few pistachios. Now I'm feeling full and satisfied.

I've got dinner in the crock pot ( buffalo chicken..Mmmm) and have gotta head out the door to pick up our family Christmas cards! Yay!

Friday, November 11, 2011


Today I want to honor all serviceman and women of the United States for their service to this great country.


- My big brother, who was deployed in Afghanistan earlier this year for about 5 months.

- My little sister who is still working hard on finishing her AIT and will soon be leaving for England for 2 years.

- My wonderful husband who gave an entire year to his country and was deployed to Afghanistan from May 2010 to late April 2011. 

- The 4 soldiers who were KIA with Seth's unit last year. The ultimate sacrifice. God be with their families today and always.

- All other men and women of the US Armed Forces who have served, are serving, and will serve this country we freely live in.

I am very proud to be an Army wife today. Though this may be just a short chapter in our lives, I will never forget what I have lived and learned in these last 3 years. Through the greatest hardships and most stressful times, God has brought us through it. He spared Seth from being taken away from us last year. He brought him home safe. God is good. End of story.

God bless the troops and the U.S.A!

I know I've changed. I know I'll never be the old me. But I'm something more. I'm the new me defined by change, tested by life and death. I know pain, hurt, restlessness. I may someday "forget" the pain. I'll never forget them. Their faces will always be young to me. Their voices will always be heard. They're journey home is over. My journey continues. -SPC Seth Trader

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Best Buds

"What do you want? I'm snuggling with Dad."

true love
Aren't they sweet? I love them both!

Don't have much for updates today really. I did 50 minutes elliptical for my workout then came home and had egg, egg white, spinach, and cheese on toast for my breakfast/recovery meal. Lunch will be yet another delicious smoothie!

Tonight we are going to see Seinfeld live in Utica with a couple friends! Definitely looking forward to it!
I've only been to one concert and never been to live stand up. Should be very fun(ny)!

Tomorrow is Friday! and it's a long 4 day weekend for Seth. Besides Seinfeld tonight, we will be laying low which I am totally looking forward to!
Have a great day, guys!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

It's 2 pm...

and I haven't showered yet

Whoopsie... Oh well, I've been too busy! Between..

- 5 mile run with Shane this morning
- 1 hour yoga flow
- grocery shopping
- making dinner- crockpot chili baby!
- eating a few bits and pieces of things for lunch ( whole wheat pretzel sticks, green pepper slices, and hummus)
- plus having a few finger scoops of cookie dough to make these beauties...

The shower just wasn't at the top of my list- I know poor Seth! :/

Anywho, it's been busy here. From apartment and moving stuff, to personal training and Visalus, it's just been a go, go, go!

If those Chocolate Chip Heath Cookie Bars look appealing to any of you, simply click here for the easy recipe!

I'm on day 6 of my 90 day challenge with body by Vi and am feeling absolutely GREAT!
I'm doing a shake a day (usually for breakfast) and they are seriously tasty, filling, and completely nutritious! If you have any questions about this challenge, please contact me!  I know it's only been about a week but I find myself with more energy and find that it's easier for me to stay on track with my nutrition. Blame it on whatever, I'm just likin it!

Well I guess my body isn't going to wash itself... better get movin!

Have a great day!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Run and Shake

Started today off with a glorious 4.25 mile run with Shane around 7:30. Warm, breezy, and sunny=perfect!

my favorite running buddy =)
I listened to some awesome worship music as I looked up to the heavens and took in the beautiful sunrise this morning. The skies were pink and purple... ahhh the handy-work of God...

Anywayssss... later today I will be taking a vinyasa flow yoga class at 1 pm. Very excited about that too!
My hammies have been pretty tight as of late, so it will be nice to stretch them out!

Yesterday I had lunch with a good friend and client of mine and was introduced to a cool company that I wanted to tell ya'll about. It's called ViSalus Sciences. Here is a short description of the company:

"Our Founders created ViSalus™ with a vision to combine passion for people with the principles of health and entrepreneurship. ViSalus™ is a community dedicated to making a positive impact on the life, health and prosperity of everyone we can reach. We do this by empowering and educating our Customers and Distributors to help bring our cutting edge health and wellness innovations to the world."

Pretty cool, eh? Basically my friend gave me a intro kit that included a pamphlet, newsletter with lots of info on the company, and a free shake to try out. Here is more info on the 90 day challenge that this company is all about:

"The ViSalus Sciences® Body by Vi™ Challenge is geared to help you reach your goals, no matter what they are. From simply losing a few pounds, to getting fit and toned, we have the tools, the products, and the community of supportive people to celebrate your success. The Body by Vi™ program is easy, fun, and guarantees results.
The Body by Vi™ Challenge is not another fad diet. The program is based on nutrition that helps you burn fat and keep lean muscle, boosts your metabolism and helps control hunger.  The patented ingredients and formulas help you achieve your goals, on your terms with guaranteed results. Included in our program are nutrition guides, fitness tips and plans, and downloadable tracking tools."

Everyone's looking to improve their health or fitness in some way or another, right? So this morning I gave the shake a try!

This shake has awesome stats... 90 calories, 12 grams of protein, and 5 grams of fiber with less than 1 gram of sugar. I added to my shake 8 oz milk, a few strawberries, and some ice and voila!

This shake was tasty, refreshing, and reminded me of strawberries and cream... The combined fiber and protein left me feeling full and energized. Yum!

Anyways, I'm considering joining this company and gettin the word out on this awesome product! Here is the address if you want to read more on it!

Alrighty, I'm out! Have a wonderful Thursday!

Friday, October 28, 2011

We have a visitor...

And his name is Martin! He and Shane have been having a ball!

We're doggy-sitting him while our friends are at home visiting their families :)

tug of war!

booty in the face
Seriously, they're fast friends and are playing like brothers... love it!

Sorry for the blurryness...they're so dern fast!

Well, I'm off to eat some oatmeal before meeting with my client and getting in my own workout after :)

Make this weekend awesome!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Sweet and Savory

Good morning! :)

Started today off with some good cardio that looked like this:

-30 minutes elliptical
- 3 mile run with Shane on this beautiful and chilly morning

At the end of our run Shane saw Seth's car driving home from P.T. and practically ripped my arm off to go greet him. Goodness...but I'm glad he loves Seth so much :)

Anyways, came home, took a shower, and ate a really really awesome breakfast! Sweet and savory today!

The BEST bagel I've had in a long time: the Pumpkin Spice bagel from Thomas.
I topped it off with a nice amount of cream cheese and pumpkin spice. On the side was egg whites with spinach. Protein: check! Carbs: Check! Veggies: Check! Magnificent tasting: Check!

Today is a pretty easy day for me. Gotta get crackin on that goal list I made yesterday!
Up first, buying Seth's plane ticket outta hear on December 18th! I will have already left with the movers (hopefully) so Seth is going to fly to Greensboro and meet me there. After that, we will be heading up North to DE and MD for Christmas! Looking forward to all of it :) Also, trying to prepare myself for the stress of moving, but thankfully we will be able to utilize the army movers which means I won't have to do much work in regards to boxing things and carrying heavy furniture. Win!

Oh and real quick, guess who went with me to Yoga Sculpt last night.... my awesome husband!
He persisted at first but I convinced him to give it a try and ya know what... he said he really enjoyed it :)
Double win for me!

Ok guys, as usual, I'm going to leave you with a pic of Shane as we wish you a happy Tuesday! Later  Gators...

tired from our run ;)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Review X2

So today I have 2 reviews for you guys! Seth and I watched the movie/documentaries FOOD INC. and FOOD MATTERS this weekend. We both really enjoyed them so I figured I'd make a post about them in case any of you were interested in checking them out!

First up, FOOD INC.

Here is a summary from Netflix about the film:

Drawing on Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation and Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma, director Robert Kenner's Oscar-nominated documentary explores the food industry's detrimental effects on our health and environment. Kenner spotlights the men and women who are working to reform an industry rife with monopolies, questionable interpretations of laws and subsidies, political ties and rising rates of E. coli outbreaks.

This sums up the movie pretty well. It showed what's really going behind the scenes of a few of the largest food and meat corporations in the world. They interviewed real farmers, real workers for these companies, and seemed to have an honest approach throughout the film. It didn't push vegetarianism or veganism at all, which I really liked. However, after learning some facts from this movie and deciding on my own, I will no longer be eating most meat. It also talked about the outbreak of E-coli and how harmful it is and will continue to be if we allow these companies to manufacture as they do. It's honest, factual, and important to be aware of these things so please check this film out!

Next up is FOOD MATTERS:

With a staggering number of Americans suffering from obesity and other food-related maladies, this film takes a timely and hard-hitting look at how the food we eat is helping or hurting our health, and what we can do to live (and eat) better. Nutritionists, naturopaths, scientists, doctors, medical journalists and more weigh in on everything from using food as medicine to the value of organic food and the safety of the food we consume.

This movie was very eye-opening to me! They had several doctors, scientists, and nutritionists weighing in on various subjects, the largest being how helpful (not harmful) vitamins are to the human body and the healing power of proper nutrition. It really honed in on the fact that America is really all about making money. Serious diseases like cancer have been proven to be healed by high doses of Vitamin C ( like 100,000 to 500,00 ML/day). However, it is illegal in the U.S. to use this therapy instead of Chemo. Why? Because of money. If word got out that proper nutrition and vitamins could heal many ailments and sicknesses, what would happen to the high cost medical industry? It wouldn't be as successful or make nearly as much money. The other thing, doctor's are not learning much about nutrition in med school. I don't know about you, but I've never been suggested by a doctor to up my Niacin intake to help with depression. Have you?

Anyways, don't wanna preach to you guys or anything. This movie also had alot of insight in ridding your body of toxins, water intake, and lots more! Check it out if you have netflix :)

Anyways, off to walk Mr. Shane. The sun has finally peaked today! Later ;)

Friday, October 21, 2011

Randomness and a Fall Recipe

First things first, here was my breakfast today:

One egg, egg whites, turkey bacon, cheddar cheese, and spinach
and in a bit I'm gonna share a big honeycrisp with Seth. Gotta get in those healthy carbs!

Workout before breakfast was....

Treadmill- 1 minute walk warm-up
               - 1 1/2 minutes @ 6.0 speed
               - 1 minute @ 9.0 speed
               - continue with intervals for 20 minutes total
               - straight to walking hill climb at 5.0 for 2 minutes, then 10.0 for 2 minutes, lastly 15.0 for 2 minutes then slowly climbed back down at the same rate.

Whew! I was so so sweaty and out of breath with this workout... maybe the treadmill isn't so bad?....

After I cooled down and stretched my legs I did 20 minutes of supersets:

Superset 1: Lat pulldown and mid row pulls
Superset 2: Shoulder press and pushups
Finished with a high plank hold and some T-pushups

Altogether I did 40 "real" push-ups and with each superset I started with a moderate weight and increased the weight until I reached muscle failure. 3 sets for each superset. Not too shabby...

I wanted to focus more on back, chest, and shoulders today because my lower body has had enough with all of the plyometrics and countless squats and lunges I completes this week. Also, my abs are really sore from a core workout I did yesterday. Boy, it's been a while since my abs have been sore and it feels good!

So here are some random things I wanted to share today:

- I pulled a 3 inch long hair off of Seth's chest last night... what????
- I hate shaving my legs... any other girls out there with me on this one??
- We want Shane to be Shane Victorino ( Phillies player he was named after) for Halloween. Anyone know where to get a cheap shirt or jersey for a dog??
- My sister Olivia passed her test with flying colors! Thanks for the prayers and well wishes!
- My client cancelled this morning... ahh, the unpredictable work of a personal trainer...
- We're going to see Paranormal 3 tonight with friends... spooky!
- Speaking of movies... last night Seth officially became part of the Cathey family. He had never seen SCARY MOVIE 3 before! What???... don't know how he got away with marrying me without seeing our "family movie"

Ok, so that's enough randomness for now I guess! Now onto a very yummy Fall recipe...

I found the recipe from this girl while browsing for some dinner ideas. This is what it looked like after we demolished 2/3 of it last night:

Here is her original recipe:

Baked Pasta with Pumpkin, Roasted Veggies, & Chicken
  • 8-10 oz. Carba Nada pasta (I eyeballed it…any pasta would be fine)
  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 large boneless & skinless chicken breast, cut into bite sized pieces
  • 1/2 small onion, chopped
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 cups roasted veggies (I used zucchini, yellow squash, broccoli, & carrots)
  • 1 cup frozen peas, thawed
  • 1 1/2 cups marinara sauce
  • 2/3 cup canned pumpkin
  • 1-1 1/2 cups part skim mozzarella, freshly shredded
  • 1/3 cup reduced-fat parmesan cheese
  • 1 tsp dried basil
  • Salt & pepper
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Cook pasta al dente, drain & set aside. Heat olive oil in a pan. Saute chicken pieces a few minutes & then add onion & garlic. Cook for a few minutes until almost cooked through.
In a large bowl, toss the drained pasta with the roasted vegetables, cooked chicken mixture, marinara sauce, pumpkin, cheeses, peas, dried basil, salt, pepper. Using a wooden spoon, gently mix, until all the pasta is coated with the sauce and the ingredients are combined.
Pour the pasta into an11x7 inch pan sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Top with a light sprinkling of mozzarella and parmesan cheeses. Bake until top is golden and cheese melts, about 25 minutes.
Pretty darn easy, eh? The only trade-offs I did was used spaghetti and penne pasta( more fun to combine noodles!), used butternut squash and zucchini for my roasted veggies,  and didn't use peas. Mmm.. such a great fall meal! You can't really taste the pumpkin but the added nutrients are great! Also, this could easily be made into a vegetarian recipe.

So give that recipe a try sometime soon! I promise you won't be disappointed :)

Now I leave you with this:

He's been so bored this week, what with all the nasty rain. Off to take him out before it starts up again!

Happy weekend!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Cinnamon Banana Oats and my Workout Schedule

Good morning :)

Another day, another monsoon... *sigh*

Rainy, wet, and chilly... bleh. But at least it's good weather for being productive!

So this morning I started the day off with some cozy oatmeal :)

oats, banana slices, brown sugar, and cinnamon=tasty and filling

oh and can't forget these too:

Everyday this week I've tried to start off the morning with a buttload of water first thing. I like it! Keeps me full and hydrated. Although my trips to the bathroom are much more frequent I think that it is worth the sacrifice ;)

In just a few, I'll be off to do 60minutes of steady state cardio at the ol community center gym.

didn't you know fly aways are in fashion?
So here is what my workout schedule has been/is this week:

Monday- Cardio fit class at the gym- lots of plyometrics and some good strength training + 20 minutes intervals on the crosstrainer

Tuesday- 30 minutes steady state cardio on bike + 15 minutes elliptical + 2 mile walk with Shane

Wednesday- Cardio Pump class- full body workout working 5 minutes on each muscle group + 20 minutes intervals on crosstrainer

Thursday- I'll probably do 60 minutes steady state cardio on the elliptical + core training

Friday- Either workout DVD or some weights at the gym + 20 minutes intervals

Saturday- Possible 20-30 minutes cardio

Sunday- Off!

I like working out 5-6 days a week. As you can see, though, I haven't been running. Between the weather ( I hate the treaddeathmill) and my legs still acting funny from last weeks 4 mile run... I figure they just need a break from the pounding.

So, off I go to get in some good cardio while hopefully watching somethin fun on tv. We don't have any cable so it's fun to catch up on a few shows :)

*please keep my beautiful sister Olivia in your prayers this morning. She has a very big exam to take this morning and could use the extra prayers! Thanks!

Have a great day!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Waking up on the motivated side of the bed

Hello friends and happy Monday!

I'm a bit chipper today so I apologize if I come across annoying. ;)

Here are some pics from this cool rainbow we saw Saturday while taking Shane for a walk

Pretty sweet huh? The weather here the past few days has been pretty crazy with high winds, rain, and some ginormous, billowy clouds. I guess it's better than the inevitable snow that will arrive soon enough, right?

Anyways, so we had a great weekend. Movie night with some great peeps, church, lunch with friends, Target, and Bible study. Plus some good cuddling time with ma' man :)

This morning I woke up early but apparently landed on the right side of the bed. Had coffee, checked some things online, took Shane for a walk, had breakfast:

MMMmmm... egg whites, turkey bacon, a bit of cheese and spinach
then headed off the work/ workout!

and off I went!

There was one other important thing I did this morning, which I highly recommend you give a try:
Wrote down a list of goals for the week.

Some items on my list were things like:
- drink around 100 ounces of water/day
- no soda
- complete 3 chapters of my continued education material
- do at least one kind thing for someone else that you wouldn't normally do
- be mindful of how I speak to Seth or anyone I come into contact with- be encouraging and uplifting!

These are just a few of the goals I wrote down. Having those goals set out and as a reminder for the rest of the week will help me to accomplish them and be a better, wife, friend, daughter and student! Give it a try sometime!

Anyways, I'm out to eat some lunch. Have a great Monday!

Saturday, October 15, 2011


Started off yesterday with Jillian Michaels kickin my rear into gear followed by a lovely 4 mile slow run with Shaney Shane on the Black River Trail. It was lovely.

So here are some updates for ya'll:

- Grandpa's procedure turned out very successful and he is getting stronger everyday, Praise God!
- Seth is officially accepted into UNCG and we will be moving there in less than 2 months God-willing!
- Today is Seth and I's 4 year dating/being together anniversary!

Here is what I woke up to today!

Gahhhh I have the sweetest dern husband! Roses, breakfast in bed, and a special poem... hehe :)

Anyways, time to get the rest of the day started, starting with a walk together!
Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Lyrics update

"Your Love is Strong"

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come 
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need 
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive 
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window 
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune 
Or out of place
I look at the meadow 
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl 
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens 
Is now advancing
Invade my heart 
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens 
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself 
To buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

So I promise this will be my last lyrics post for a while.
I found this song, along with many others, last night and Seth and I have been listening to them.

Seth and I had a great conversation last night via skype, (he's in Chicago for a funeral) with lots of smiles and laughter. It was lovely.

I know the sunshine is right over these dark clouds. I know our Heavenly Father loves us more than we can even comprehend. And I know that everything will be okay. 
Thankfully, He is stronger than us. Greater. All-knowing. Caring. Loving.
I will rest in those truths today.

And I will also be participating in body pump and a long, Fall run with a friend this morning.

If I haven't said it before, let me say it again: Exercise is one of the best natural stress relievers there is. Don't underestimate it's powers. Don't make excuses. It's necessary not only for having a healthy body, but a healthy mind as well. It gives you confidence, endorphins, and you will never regret a workout. Whether it's taking a walk, a fitness class, a bike ride... whatever it may be. Get out there and just do it! For yourself, your mind, your body.

Okay, enough preaching. Later guys, have a nice n healthy Wednesday!

Monday, October 3, 2011

To sum it up...


Been fighting things that I can't see
Like voices coming from the inside of me
Like doing things I find hard to believe in
Am I myself or am I dreaming?

I've been awake for an hour or so
Checking for a pulse but I just don't know
Am I a man if I feel like a ghost?
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive
A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive

I come alive when I hear you singing
But lately I haven't been hearing a thing
I get the feeling that I'm in between
A machine and a man who only looks like me

I try and hide it and not let it show
But deep down inside me I just don't know
Am I a man if I feel like a hoax?
The stranger in the mirror's been wearing my clothes

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive
A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive

I'm always close, but I'm never enough
I'm always alive, but I'm never in love
I get so down, but I won't give up
I get so down, but I won't give up
I get so down, but I won; t give up

Been fighting things that I can't see
Like voices coming from the inside of me, yeah
Like doing things I find hard to believe in
Am I myself or am I dreaming?

Am I myself or am I dreaming?
Am I myself or am I dreaming?

Thrive, thrive, thrive, yeaah, thrive

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive
A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive
I wanna thrive not just survive

Yeah yeah
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive
I wanna thrive not just survive
I wanna thrive not just survive

Feels like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive 

This song is on Switchfoot's latest album and Seth and I have been playing it often.
I don't mean for this post to be totally depressing or anything, but on the other hand, it's my blog and I'm being honest.
Please just pray for us if you think of it.
Thanks everyone,

Em and Seth